ABOUT LOVE

  • One sunny, perfect day, my friend, Linda, from across the street and I were having an adult tea party on our lawn. I was four and she was five. We both had our little brothers sitting near us as our children. We interrupted our adult conversation many times to scold our children, who were giggling, lost in their own quiet play. Suddenly my mother came out on the porch and called me by my full name. I knew I was in trouble when she did that.

    sister and brotherly love

    I was also annoyed. Parents were not suppose to interfere with our play and in fact rarely ever did. They were glad to be free of us, while they cleaned and cooked and we were glad to be free of them, while we practiced being adults and acting out what we learned.

    She ushered me into the living room, took one of my small chairs and sat it in the corner. She said, “You are too loud and bossy. Sit here and think about that.” I sat down and looked hard at the corner. At first, I studied the paint, the shadow and change of color as the two walls met. Then I did as instructed.

    I was pretending to be her and she is bossy and loud! I will be just like her when I grow up and if she does not like herself, she won't like me either. I was quiet for a moment. But she says she loves me. I stared at the corner and thought about love. I loved my little brother. He was so beautiful and wonderful, so perfect. If I was his mama, I would always hug and kiss him. I would accept everything he did.

    I wanted to protect him and keep him safe. I loved lying on the grass with him, looking at the white clouds in the intense blue sky. I loved playing in the mud with him, making pies and laughing. Love is being totally happy. Everything is wonderful, good, beautiful and fun.

    I thought about my father scolding my little brother and my brother still too young to understand what was happening. I decided adults said they loved you but they felt differently than how I loved. They always wanted something in exchange for their love and that was OK but it wasn't love.

    As I grew, I noted that few people loved totally and unconditionally. Actually that is a lie. I never knew anyone that loved any living thing totally and unconditionally. Even pets had to be disciplined. I knew everyone had that ability when they were very little, it was natural but growing up with parents that were unhappy, worried, scolding and never felt love, was the only way to survive. How would one learn to love when taught not to?

    The answer took about 50 more years to find. Science came to our rescue and found what they call peptides that are created throughout our body, to carry feelings to our individual cells. Our cells just love feelings and beg for more. They are fickle and when another feeling comes along they beg for more of that one.

    We generate joy by smiling and laughing. Negative thoughts and feelings are false and detrimental to life. Wrong, bad, ugly and evil does not exist in nature or the universe. They were made up by our primitive ancestors and passed down by believers. Of course to have that happily-ever-after life, we must want real, true, unfettered love and then make it for ourselves. Prince Charming and that true love kiss is only in Fairytales, so we think it is necessary to have someone else love us to be complete.

    The individual is the only one capable of making feelings and responsible for the ones they make. We are currently killing off all life on the planet, looking for love in all the wrong places.  It is personal. When we finally get it and love ourselves unconditionally, overpopulation, killing, sickness and our despicable attitude toward ourselves, others, plants, animals, fish, etc. including the earth itself disappears in favor of love, peace and goodwill. Try it; we'll like it.

    30 Responses to ABOUT LOVE

    1. Raymonde Pasquin says:

      I absolutely love this blog site. You actually come with impressive articles and reviews. I see people are actually having conversations with you. Cheers for having such an inspiring and entertaining webpage.

      The post is a vignette and as such fails to tell the whole story. A dialog is great for going deeper into the subject. I welcome stories of others as well to further the teaching. Love, Oracle Jai

    2. Annetta says:

      I think this is among the most significant information i have ever read. We all deep down know this but cannot or will not acknowledge it. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I do not feel so bad. We have all been left out and that is why we are in such terrible shape. I am so thankful for reading your article. Your style of writing and artistic talent at designing is excellent. I just want to stay here all day. Good job, cheers!!!

      Thanks so much for the significant comment and compliments. Yes we have all been raised without love and until we cherish and love ourselves we must avoid having children otherwise we will raise them without love and continue the devastation. Love, Oracle Jai

    3. Clement says:

      Woah! I'm really enjoying the template/theme of this blog. It's simple, yet effective. You have that "perfect balance" between superb usability and visual appeal. I must say you have done a awesome job with this post as well. I love stories and this story is very visual and poignant.  Also, the blog loads very quick for me on Internet explorer. Exceptional Blog!

      Thanks for such an enjoyable comment and compliments. Love, Oracle Jai

    4. Alisa says:

      Your means of describing everything in About Love is so entertaining. The story is short and clear. I love this personal kind of writing. Simple and effective, we can all effortlessly understand it, Thanks a lot.

      Thanks for your complimentary comment. It is essential that you understand what needs to be done to save the life on the planet and set us up for a good life of peace, goodwill, love and appreciation  for the natural way. Love, Oracle Jai

    5. Lippin says:

      Only a smiling visitant here to share the love. Unconditional love must be great and you say we make it internally. I know you are right but there are so many things I like and do not like that I can not possible imagine liking everything about anything including me. Great design on your blog. It is pleasant to rest here and read. It is all informative and positive. Thanks.

      Thank you for commenting. It does seem unreasonable to love totally but everything else alive does except us. We are in the minority and yet our negative outlook on life will bring everything else down including us. Work on being loving with everything. We can do it. It is personal. Love, Oracle Jai

    6. Australia says:

      After looking over a handful of the blog articles on your web page, I really appreciate your presentation and writing abilities. We all think we know about love and after reading your post About Love, I know we do not. However to find this blog before I embark on a marriage is amazing good luck. Now I will read about marriage and all the rest of your considerable amount of wisdom before I do anything major with my life.

      Thanks for giving your information so freely. Most people charge for their so called help, which is the same stuff I read about twenty years ago. I have thrown away loads of money on erroneous information. The kind of drivel that everyone has been peddling forever, including doctors, shrinks and other prostitutes of lies. I am happy to read something fresh, uncivilized, unaltered, natural.

      Well, that was a strong comment. I think they all, including prostitutes, mean well, it is how they have been trained to behave and think. Well good that you have found some truth about the illusions we live in. Time to wake up and really smell the real roses. Keep up the good work of becoming positive. We discourage sympathy, support groups and personal training "specialists". Training us to be positive is personal. 

      We teach appreciation and acceptance for what is. Every action causes a perfect reaction; it is impossible to be random or imperfect. Making our actions cause the reaction we want is what we teach and it must be apart of our automatic belief system that runs us. All life but homo Sapiens are trained to cause the perfect reaction in their environment to survive and this includes insects, fish, plants, animals and birds, if it lives, it is perfect including us. Unfortunately our childhood training sucks and destroys all the potential for peace, goodwill, joy and survival on the earth overrun with homo sapiens. We are hell bent on wiping out all life on the planet because we hate ourselves. The only salvation is personal. Eat, drink and be merry while we last. Love, Oracle Jai

    7. here says:

      I absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post's to be just what I'm looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content in your case? I wouldn't mind producing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome web site!

      When you want to elaborate on a post, just put it into the comments. I then read it and will comment back. We could have a very interesting time and benefit everyone. Love, Oracle Jai.

    8. Google says:

      Only a handful of internet sites happen to discuss their subject in depth, from our point of view and yours is undoubtedly worth checking out.

      Thank you Google for letting me know. Could I get on one of your first three pages of some of my topics. Hahahahhahaha. We love you Google, Oracle Jai

    9. Jesse says:

      Wonderful points altogether, you just gained a new admirer. What you suggest in this post is that we know nothing about love. And judging from some of your other posts, you are right. We think it is sex, or wanting something like security, money or stuff. Love is a feeling and you tell us we create it in our own body. I looked it up and extreme pleasure, love, is something chemical or whatever and we are responsible for making it up. Well, that changes everything. I keep expecting someone to love me instead of loving myself. If I love another, or even everyone, they do not have to love me back. I feel great because I feel great and I take me out to dinner. It is a whole new world. I need an attitude adjustment. Jesse

      What a wonderful comment and realization. I am very grateful that you took the time to work this revelation out in your comment. We have a few thousand registered visitors and most do not make comments. I just love it when someone does. Then I know I am reaching a few, actually it is close to a thousand comments. Just laugh, smile, have fun and everything will fall into place. Love, Oracle Jai

    10. ugg bailey says:

      There are some intriguing points in this post but I do not know if I see exactly what you are talking about. We learn to fake love but not feel it. You felt real love for your brother and accepted him totally and everything he did. Suppose he did something wrong? What then would you do? There is some validity in what you say but I want to hear more about those two kinds of love, which we think is just love. Great article, makes one think. Thanks.

      Well, you are right. The false love is not love at all. It is duty. A mother, father, boss, older sibling, best friend and spouse feel a responsibility to train us in what is right and wrong. That is not love. Love has no right or wrong in it. Love is natural. Everything my brother did was just right, perfect and I loved it. We made up right and wrong to have control over others.That became necessary when we began to overpopulate our primitive tribes. Read the rest of my posts. Thanks. Love, Oracle Jai

    11. Moire says:

      A insightful blog post right there luv. You are right. People say they love and we know they do not. A child sees this as OK, the way things are. People say things that are lies. That is what they do, so we learn to live with it. The trick is to know when the love is real. Thanks for posting!

      Thanks for commenting. Whether another person loves you for real or not is unimportant. It is your love that is real or fake because you think it will get you something you think you want. We all want and need love so love yourself first and unconditionally. We make it internally, it is chemical. We make all our feelings, so make just pleasant happy ones. We can throw away the drugs and make our own high for free and make it last forever. People have been raised to punish themselves and everything else, pets, kids, houses, plants, you name and we punish and destroy. Time to change before it is too late. Love, Oracle Jai

    12. jumpers says:

      What's taking place I am new to this, I stumbled upon this beautiful site and found It absolutely helpful. I can understand about not being loved and cherished in our childhood, so how could we indeed know how to love? We all assume it is natural and when we feel good, it is love. We think all moms love their kids and when they don't, we think it is the kid's fault and if we are the kid we think there is something wrong with us. Got it and it is not the kid's fault. Actually it is mother's fault but she was not loved by her mother, so how could she teach her child to love when she knows nothing about it? I will be back and read more and talk about this with my friends. Thanks so much for writing this and making it understandable. Good job. 

      Thanks for stopping to make a comment. When we love ourselves we can take people as they are because love is a feeling we generate to make us feel great. It is personal and others benefit from being near one who feels love. You are right. We were perfect, no one did anything wrong. If we loved ourselves we would not play the civilized game of servitude. We would be a society of one, joyous, healthy and prosperous, playing the game of Love, Oracle Jai

    13. Gerald says:

      Your posts are very great and agree with what I think. I often wondered if being self-centered was bad or not. It is certainly plausible for I know many who only think of what they want, even if others are present. They can’t, for example, leave a smiley face as a comment. I would like more information about loving yourself unconditionally first, in order to love everyone else. Isn't that being a complete self-centered, uncaring person. We detest the self-centered person. Please clear this up for me. Thanks.

      Yes it does sound like a dichotomy. However we all know the difference. When you feel unconditional love, it is pure joy and everything becomes a part of your love. A self-centered person fears they are substandard, worries and postures, so they will feel superior. As you said they are uncaring. They only think of themselves.

      A person who loves themselves totally is in a state of ecstasy. They love everything including us, plants, animals, the air we breathe and the water we drink. We would never poison anything even an insect. Everything is good, wonderful and natural. I do swat mosquitos. Killing is also natural when invaded and our life is threatened. We also have to kill to eat.

      Love is a feeling without thought. Thinking is for understanding, illuminating, reasoning and becoming aware. We actually can function beautifully while creating love all the time. However in the world of humans, we ave oppressed, depressed and hate love in favor of wanting more sex, more money, more things, more land, more oil and worst of all, more people. Love gets in the way of that obsession for power. Love, Oracle Jai 

    14. Guma says:

      hello!, I like your writing very much! shall we communicate more about your post on AOL? I require a specialist on this area about love to solve my problem. Maybe that's you! Looking forward to see you. Guma

      I would love a conversation. When you come to this site, pick the post you want to have a conversation about or suggest a new topic. If you really wish for a private consultation, then contact me from the contact page or just go to jaitojoy@gmail.com Love, Oracle Jai.

    15. kwiaciarnia wysyłkowa says:

      Your posts are really great and require a lot of thought, since most of your ideas are new to me. Still I will seriously take pleasure in everything you write. Thank you, kwiaciarnia

      Thank you for commenting. Please register so you know when I put up the next post. Sincerely, love, Oracle Jai.

    16. maillot says:

      I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your site. Great little story about love. My brothers and sisters were all older than me and mean.They are still bossy and mean, dislike my wife, the whole bit. My mother had too much to do to pay attention. My father was gone most of the time. This was common in my neighborhood. So if I change does that mean I never see them any more. maillot

      It depends on us. If we maintain our feelings of love, our family may go along and also have fun. If we feel we are losing it and getting angry, we can quietly leave, upsetting no one including ourselves. Our cells will have us find people who do love, play and have fun, stay healthy and live in abundance. By the way, trying to change someone always fails because we come off looking nicer, better, smarter and no one likes a smart ass. Confrontations, even discussions only work against love. Understanding just means understanding. It does not mean acceptance, compliance, change etc. Most people prefer what they are used to, even if it means disaster, misery and poverty, etc. Worry is also a waste of time. Just love yourself and all will fall into peace and goodwill. Love, Oracle Jai 

    17. Habibi says:

      Thanks for all your valuable labor on this web site. Kim enjoys engaging in investigation and it is easy to see why. A number of us hear all about the dynamic method you suggest for our lives. Every one of your posts render useful thoughts and comments from visitors wishing to continue the conversation. We are all studying your blog. You're conducting a good service for all of us.

      Thank you Kim for getting everyone involved. Although the transformation is personal it is fun to have everyone help and know what is necessary to happen. Support is great. Love, Oracle Jai

    18. Huey Swancey says:

      I simply want to mention that is such a cute story. I can see a little girl sitting in the corner contemplating what she had done wrong. Since you were right to be playing in the way you were playing, not bothering anyone, you came up with some brilliance rarely found in children. You surely come with awesome articles and reviews. Regards for sharing your stories.

      Actually, my guess is that there are a lot more intelligent children than adults on the planet. A four year old's language skills are rudimentary at best. However, they are able to know the truth and the lie and which their parents are using. They know, for instance, if mother is lying when she says she is fine and she is unhappy or angry. They know they are unloved when they get candy or toys instead of a hug and kiss. Love is what the world needs now. Thank you for your thoughts. Love, Oracle Jai 

    19. Moi says:

      Thanks for this discriminative article. When two people keep silent, that's going to be the biggest down side to their ability to solve any problems. Sometimes yelling is significantly better than keeping silent. Unfortunately, that too can stifle clear communication because fighters never win and only damage the relationship further. Everyone is unique and must find a way to be heard and not misunderstood. I want to know more about how to communicate.

      Disappointment is always the nurse to healthy wisdom. Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments. Congratulations! It is never too late to learn more. Graduation does not put an end to learning. On the contrary, to be a master, one is always learning.

      Thank you for that good discussion. Communication is really quite simple because it is controlled by our automatic subconscious ego. We are trained to repeat the image of who we are and what to expect in life that we learned as a small child. Whether we are silent, whimpering or foaming at the mouth, we get the results we must have to satisfy our trained images. We choose partners who will act in such a way to give us what we think we deserve. You might read the post OUR TWO EGOS and SHAKESPEARE SAYS.

      I have yet to find that disappointments leads to any success other than to prove that once again we have been wrong. Often we might solicit a charitable response from another who needs to feel they are better and more successful, which satisfies both people to prove they are less than satisfactory.  I suggest you read CHARITY AND RESPECT for a more in depth response. Thanks so much for furthering the discussion. I will write more on communication. Love, Oracle Jai

    20. Eve says:

      Remember the children's song: rain rain go away, come again some other day, little Johnny wants to play. The idea is that Johnny has to stay in the house, or school and even as an adult, if it is raining. Why is that when one can play in the rain, get wet and continue to play. People learn a lot more on the basis of watching TV, than reading or playing outside in the rain. We are obsessed with teaching and learning than actually having fun. I think there is a ton more to understand about the way we think, act and play. I am hoping for additional details. Many thanks for the information you have about love, playing and our training. Real people and real stories are great teachers.

      Thank you for your observation and input. When I was a child we played in the rain, shot off roman candles on Independence Day and football fields were muddy. Today everything is plastic, antiseptic, indoors and having fun is forbidden. We are more depressed and diseased than ever but because of drugs we live a lot longer. Living in the real world, in harmony with the universal forces and natural order is no longer desirable for the few who pull our puppet strings.

      Like Pinocchio, we are wooden, want to be real but no longer can find the way. Life is just one obstacle after another. We have no Geppetto to love us when we are a brat or a Blue Fairy to grant our wish for being good. When Pinocchio goes to have fun he becomes a donkey. Interesting statement about our civilization, morals and values. I guess I should write more. Love, Oracle Jai

    21. Amanda-Lisa says:

      Great post. I keep coming back and reading more. I am so impressed with your take on such subjects that we care not touch. We think we know all about love and we do not know a damn thing about love. You tell it like it is and I'm impressed! Very helpful information specially the last part. I did not know science finally took a look at us and we make the feelings of love. Of course, this makes sense. I do not need to depend on anyone to make me feel wanted, loved and cherished. Seems unfair but freeing.

      The more you love yourself the more you realize that others have never loved, not you or themselves. We have that true love expectation which really is just a fairytale. The only true love is the love of self. We are not talking about Narcissus who fell in love with his image in the pond, could not part from it and so died. Nice Greek myth to let us know that if one becomes fixated on their image, one dies to all life has to offer. 

      "Do unto others as you would do unto yourself" is a disastrous statement. We hate and distrust ourselves, give us diseases, eat unhealthy food, hurt ourselves,  fail to love us, and that is what we do unto others and the planet itself!!! 

      Even the idea of one and only one God caused and is still causing millions of deaths of so called "non believers" and killed millions of women who were healers. And by the way, the wandering, nomadic Israelites were in Egypt at the time the Pharaoh Akhenaten invented the concept of one god, which set him above all the pharaohs and their gods. It was invented to gain power over all other beliefs and has failed to change civilization into a loving, peaceful place to live and work together in good will.

      That belief plus "Be fruitful and multiply" has overpopulated the earth to such an extent that we are on the brink of our own extinction and taking all life with us to the grave. Think about it. Love, Oracle Jai

    22. maillot says:

      Amazing! You know I love your blog!!! I especially love your personal stories. I can't even remember when I was four, let alone what I was thinking. You are an amazing person. I keep reading. Thanks, Maillot

      Thanks for your amazing response. Most people do not remember their training period because it was so horrific. No love and the rewards were unsatisfying. Hopefully we will change this in the years to come. If not, we will commit genocide because of who we are being and causing. Either way, the earth will survive us. Love, Oracle Jai

    23. Women says:

      Hey this is a excellent post. I'm going to e-mail this to my friends. I came on this while searching on Google I'll be sure to come back.  Women need to know that love is not slavery, something to sell or give away. They need to love and cherish themselves. I read marriage and you are right on there as well. In fact all the posts I have read so far are enlightening and refreshing to say the least.  Thanks for sharing.

      You are welcome. In fact women must get out of servant, abusive relationships. She needs to stop begetting for the male. We physically can only love ourselves. We produce the feelings. No one can make is feel. Once women love and cherish themselves they can love and cherish their baby. Until that happens it is curtains for the human species and most of the other species on the earth as well. Our survival depends on the female of the specie. Love, Oracle Jai

    24. Alex Pafford says:

      What's up with everybody? I love this site and I come often. This website includes amazing and truly excellent information to support its readers. I had to read What Is Love today and was surprised that it was up to me to love me. I believed all the hype, songs, my parents, even the preacher that love was out there somewhere and if they did not love you, you were out of luck. I have been out of luck forever.

      Jesus loves me but I never felt it. I thought something was really wrong with me. I did not deserve it. Of all the people who ever wrote a thing, this is the first time I really heard I had to love me, that is the only place love is. Once I love me, I can love another but it must be unconditional. Well I am going to do it. My life can not be worse if I laugh and smile all the time. I sure hope you are right about those peptides.

      I am right, science is right. Besides does it matter? What matters is how you feel. If you feel great so do others who are close to you. Watch the video by Dr. Emotto. Feelings are physical and somehow change water and we are mostly water. Life is about having fun, loving what you do, who you are with. Make it so. Love, Oracle Jai

    25. Kellie says:

      Wonderful story about love. I have never experienced unconditional love and certainly my parents never did either. I must look up how we make it, peptides? I am sure you are correct but I always thought I needed someone to make me love them, even cute puppies. When are you going to post again? You really entertain a lot of people!

      Thank you for telling me of your plight, it is way too common and the reason we failed to live in harmony, peace and goodwill. It is the ninth hour and we must learn how to love ourselves unconditionally. Treat yourself as if you were the most cherished person in the world because you are. Love, Oracle Jai

    26. Craig says:

      People will not love us unless they feel that we love them, care about them, and are ready to defend them. While it has been recognized caring is an important component in the development of a guy, he will return to his basic nature and spasmodically kill, if he feels threatened. History proves this is the way human men behave. Expecting him to be different is like expecting him to sprout wings and fly.

      I guess then we better see wings on men in this century, otherwise this "natural" human will become extinct along with the rest of life he has managed to kill by overpopulating and polluting the planet. All is lost because men cannot change and apparently neither can the women who birth and raise them. Loving and cherishing oneself is what is needed for the entire specie and that starts with you, my friend. Thanks for your insightful comment. Love, Oracle Jai 

    27. Leontyne says:

      Just discovered this site through Yahoo, what a way to brighten up my week! Loved the story and got it. If you understand your training, you can be OK with it and change what you want to change. I am going to read all your blogs, thanks.

      Thank you for commenting and continue to read. The solution to having all we desire is to love ourselves without conditions, know that we are safe, joyous, loving, healthy, rich and everything we do benefits everything. Even if we think this is a lie at the moment, if we keep seeing everything is beneficial, it becomes the truth and real. Love, Oracle Jai

    28. gm says:

      Can you tell us a lot more about this? I'd want to locate out some extra details. How do I play the game of life in love. There are so many disasters and bad things happening all around the world. We are all in danger and another world war is building.

      We used to yell, Stop the World We Want to "Get Off". Now we yell, "I am fine, the rest of you losers, get off the world." There is only one way to be safe and out of the world of destruction. Change your perception. Everything is as it is. The way people are raised by their mothers, will cause our extinction. Leave civilization and know that is the law of cause and effects (results). You cause your own life. Cause a happy one. Remove all negative input, news, games, blame, people who make you feel as if you have done something wrong because everything we do is to get the results we get and that is perfect. Love, Oracle Jai

    29. Torn says:

      I discovered exactly what I wanted to know and have spent years being unsatisfied with the answers others gave me. What is love. We use that word all the time as if we understood it and actually felt it. Turns out it is simply an urge to procreate and we have too many people on the planet because that feeling was misunderstood.

      I am glad that was straightened out and I am going to get fixed. I would rather have a fun life than a responsible one for other people who for one reason or another cannot take care of themselves. You have ended my years of searching. God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

      Glad I served you. It is personal. Love yourself unconditionally and you can love everything else, including plants, birds, animals, the earth and the universal laws that hold us together. We do have a sexual urge to procreate but we have sex because we are looking for love, not children. When we love ourselves, we will not need so much sex and produce a reasonable amount of children. But first we must let seven billion die of old age before we produce more. I am sure it will take that long to have love catch on. Children of the '60's wanted free love, but all they knew was sex and that fails to satisfy our need. Love, Oracle Jai

    30. Issac says:

      I want you to know I seriously savored this post. I know that I and most other people do not know what love is because they have never felt it. Oh maybe as babies but we do not remember back that far. You remember your brother at a year and a half. I think my first memory was when i was in the first grade. I will bookmark your blog post and keep reading. You definitely have good writings. Cheers for your illuminating manuscripts.

      Thanks for your illuminating comments. We really love comments that come from your real observation and intellect. Keep reading. It is important that we get in touch with reality and love it and ourselves. Love, Oracle Jai

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