• Mother's acceptance, love, protection and warm comfortSince we are unable to remember what it was like to be a baby, we need to go on what we actually know about how we get to be the way we are. All our societies teach us to blame others instead of taking responsibility for the results we cause. We look everywhere but at ourselves.

    Genetics is fascinating but apparently has nothing to do with joy, happiness, health and prosperity. We can override our predisposition to have detrimental genetic traits and illnesses. That leaves us with childhood conditioning.

    Eventually we grow up and become responsible for what we cause. Fault and blame are negative concepts we can happily live without. If we want to know what we or anyone wants, we only need to look at the results. If our child, husband, anything upsets us, we did something to cause the upset. We control the results in our life. We can deny it and blame others or circumstances but our subconscious knows what we expect in life and makes sure we act in such a way to get it.

    We learn as infants what our parents expect, way before we know the language. We desperately want their approval and love, so we learn to meet their expectations. By the time we truly understand the language, we find most of the time they say what they want but believe is unattainable; therefore they expect to be disappointed.

    After all, they learned as children they were unacceptable and undeserving of love and would never have it. We are trained to be just like them, constantly proving our trained beliefs are true and real. That is why often the scientific community rejects the new idea or new interpretation of a phenomenon, regardless of the proof.

    Fortunately only personality disorders, (bullies and victims) are attracted to each other and only joyous, intelligent people are attracted to each other, making it simple for the offspring. If we desire a loving, healthy, happy life that benefits all others, we have to believe we already have this life and we will act accordingly to cause it and therefore expect it. Everyone who stays in our environment will change their behavior to meet our expectations.


    My husband would come into the house after work and ask in a loud voice, so I could hear him in the kitchen, “What’s for Dinner?” This would piss me off because if I told him, he would unvaryingly say he would prefer something else and launch into several things he would prefer. If I did not tell him, he would come into the kitchen, open the lids on the pots and oven door and announce he would prefer something else.

    One day, our teenage daughters begged me not to get mad because this was a routine they could do without. I thought about this for a moment. Then I said, "If I accept the insult, I teach you that to have a happy relationship and marriage, you must let your partner harm you and you suffer in silence to keep the peace. If I fight, I teach you that you have to fight for respect and what you want. Which do you want me to teach you? "Fight" they said in unison and they walked away sad that this was life.

    There had to be another solution but I could not think of one. That evening he came in and asked, “What’s for dinner?” I put my head around the corner and laughed and laughed. He came into the kitchen to see what was funny and there was nothing on the stove or in the oven. I gave him a hug and said, “You are taking us out for dinner.” much to the delight of our daughters.

    The next night, when my husband came home, again he asked “What’s for dinner?” I laughed and he came into the kitchen, saw what I had and said he would prefer something else and spoke of something great. I gave him a hug and kiss and he left to get into something more comfortable. I put the dinner away and replaced it with a loaf of bread, jam and peanut butter. I smiled and sat down to eat what I had served. If they wanted something different they could make it themselves.

    He was a bright man, so a third time was unnecessary. I was a bit disappointed for I was having so much fun inventing ways to change this behavior on both our parts. There is always an alternative to either giving in or fighting, being a victim or a bully. Funny I did not think about talking it out and explaining how I felt, which is also another way.

    32 Responses to RAISING US

    1. Tobias says:

      Amazing! Its in fact an amazing post. I have a much clear idea about why people, especially me, are the way they are. I am going to spread the word. There is also so much more here than I first perceived. You are right we do not learn to think. We are such morons. This moron is going to be smart from now on.

      Remember, you are perfect, the post is a little further down the page. Still it is nice to wake up and love yourself and everything else. Love, Oracle Jai

    2. Rachel says:

      It is important to consider, when disciplining your youngsters, persistence. Being a parent through the awful-two's can be challenging, for son or daughter and parent. During this period youngsters prefer to press the limits of what is prohibited. Make certain you set up clear restrictions and be consistent, no sliding. Having time-outs for young children who disobey so they really know what is expected. Rachel

      Rachel you have just described the way we were trained and therefore train our children.  PLEASE DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN IF THIS IS HOW YOU ARE GOING TO TRAIN THEM!!!!!! Read Punishments and Rewards. In the first place there is no love in this kind of training. Saying you love your child and demonstrating love are two totally different things.

      Pick your two year olds up, love and kiss them, regardless of what they do or did. Hold them and keep them from harm. There is plenty of time, when they are five or six to gently condition them to meet society's needs. 

      Children understand your actions, not your words.  Rachel you need to retrain yourself to be positive and love yourself unconditionally. Then and only then will you be a fit mother. I truly thank you for your honesty. People who write here, usually agree with what I say. You disagreed and that allowed me to speak more strongly and to the point. Love you, Oracle Jai

    3. Wap says:

      You take care to include all that matters in our lives. My whole family visits your site for there is something for everyone. Usually most of us suffer from something and there is a post for it. By the way, you are absolutely enchanting on all of your posts and we all want additional details on them. It is very unusual that we can ask questions to further understand what you say and you answer. Excellent.

      That was a funny story to change your behavior. But really how many people would think of that. They would just know they were right and the fights would continue. But I wanted to ask about believing you are happy when you are not, so you will be happy. I really don't get it. I will continue to visit this blog so eventually I will get it.

      Well, you got it. See we are told and trained that how we are is it. There is no other way to be, which is stupid. We are how we are trained to be. An Olympic athlete, scientist, musician, artist, criminal, technician, shoemaker, etc. all are trained. We are not born with those skills. Being happy is a skill as is being wealthy, living in Paradise, raising kids, living with another, say a spouse.

      The training comes first. To train to be skillful at anything requires a belief that you are skillful and you believe and see yourself succeeding at that skill. We just start training ourselves to be the person we want to be and be become that person. You can start that belief training at any age or position. Love, Oracle Jai

    4. Bon says:

      Hey there, You have performed a great job describing why we are the way we are. It makes sense it is be cause of the way we were raised. Still we rarely think we can change, more like we were always like this before we were born. I definitely digg it and I will suggest this blogsite to my friends. I'm confident they will benefit from this website as I do.

      Thanks for commenting and now that you know that you are made by people who were certainly not experts in raising children to be free, happy, loving, healthy, successful and rich you know what you can do about it. Of course it means starting from scratch, with loving yourself and moving into a free life from there. Love, Oracle Jai

    5. Jamaal says:

      Great pieces. Keep writing this kind of information on your site. I'm really impressed by your blog. You've out-performed anyone else on raising us when we were children and we should pay attention and love us when we have our own. Excellent job. If only people would become aware of the consequences of their behavior. This should be a required reading at all levels of education. I am recommending this blog to all my friends and the school board and anyone else willing to listen. I'm sure we all will benefit from reading this site.

      Thanks for your impressive comment. We all need compliments all the time so be sure to give them to you and others all day long. Your cells are then encouraged to keep you happy, healthy, safe, in love and prosperous. Those are your goals. How you achieve them is what you cause. Love, Oracle Jai

    6. Lagreca says:

      It was a pleasure locating your site in such a short time. I liked your tips about raising us and our children. I believe parents never give it a thought as to how they are raising their children. I think most parents think once the baby is walking around, that they are a nuisance, under foot and in the way. Mother never has any freedom. Thank you for creating the time to compose these articles and sharing your thoughts.

      Thank you for taking the time to tell us your opinions. I agree. We fail to love our children so we should not have any. They are in the way of our pleasure and life so we should not have them. Jellyfish do a better job than we do. We need a new kind of child, one raised in unconditional love and that can only happen when teenagers and young adults decide to go thru the retraining. Love, Oracle Jai

    7. Borrow says:

      I consider all of the concepts you've offered for your post really worth reading and following your advise. Some are quite a surprise, since I have only been taught the opposite. However, what you say is very convincing and fortunately all your solutions are the same. Since we are responsible for what we do and cause, it is up to us to change. I love coming here and finding something else to think about. I could read a whole book on your topics but your short, to the point articles are easy to read, funny at times and certainly will make our head spin. Thank you for the post.

      Thank you for the comment and I am glad you are getting the message that each person must drop the insanity and become sane which translates to naturally joyous, in love with earth and all its critters, shape and natural forces. Love is where we went south because we lost it. Love, Oracle Jai

    8. Barbara says:

      I am not sure where you're getting your information, but good topic. I need to spend some time learning much more or understanding more about how a child becomes like their parent when it seems they reject them when they grow up. I understand that I must love everything but how can I when things are so bad? Thanks for fantastic information and I need to understand to complete my mission.

      I encourage you to read the comments as well for there is a lot of additional information in them. When we reject something, say our parents, we keep the abuse  with us as long as we reject it. When we let go of the rejection, the reason for it disappears along with what caused it. We are now free to love us unconditionally and everything else, including our parents.

      Remember our parents were abused, just as they abused us. They will die unhappy, angry, unhealthy, unloved, waisted and know they waisted their one opportunity to live a wonderful life. Is this what you want for yourself? No, but you expect it and you will be right unless you change that negative training and abuse into a benefit. By the way you must do this, leave your god out of the process, otherwise you place the responsibility and blame on a phantom, unreal and nothing will change. It is personal. Love, Oracle Jai

    9. Kathy says:

      This is a memo to the website creator. I came to your page via Bing but it was difficult to find as you were not on the front page of search results. This is such a great site. You deserve to be at the top of the first page of many topics. I use an SEO site that brought me close to 1000 visitors/day using their services, you could probably get many more targeted traffic. I would like to see you become very successful. I hope this helps! Kathy

      Thank you Kathy for your help. We are waiting till we have everything in this site finished and working correctly. We still have a few bumps. But when the time comes we definitely will look into it. Love, Oracle Jai

    10. Jean says:

      Well I truly enjoyed reading it. This tip offered by you is very effective for correct planning. The story really helped in visualizing how one does change a negative pattern. thanks for being personal. Jean 

      Thank you for your ability to see a pattern that can be changed by changing your attitude. We need more like you Jane. Love, Oracle Jai

    11. Deon says:

      A fascinating discussion and definitely worth many comments. I do believe that you need to write more on this topic. Everyone talks about how to raise our children but obviously no one really knows. As you said, we have already caused the sixth major extinction and we are our parents children. What you say sounds simple and correct. To the next! Kind regards!!

      Thanks for your kind comments. The solution to all the problems we have caused is two fold. First we must stop having children and second learn to love and cherish ourselves. Loving kids will follow when seven billion of us have died and those living will love and cherish themselves. Love, Oracle Jai

    12. regeneracja says:

      You made some clear points there. I looked on the internet for conditioned response and found most individuals will agree. So why is it that most people just go along with the conditioning instead of changing it? We are all unhappy, unsuccessful and trying to make money in a job we do not like. Katowice

      Well, that is a comfort that people agree and of course, people stay the same. My guess is fear keeps us from trying to attain the love and care that was painfully rejected, when we were pups. Thanks for checking it out. Love, Oracle Jai.

    13. tom says:

      I admire your website, it's filled out lot and I love the pictures. A jellyfish baby. Who would have thought of that? You just got one perennial visitor of this blog. tom

      Thanks Tom, I just could not resist putting it up. Please keep coming, love to have you visit and comment. Love, Oracle J.

    14. Anonymous says:

      I will subscribed to your blog, as soon as you have a place to subscribe. Many thanks

      We have a place! It says register on the left side bar. Please subscribe and place your comments on the posts of your choice. Love,  Oracle Jai.

    15. Marion says:

      Cute picture. I am surprised that jellyfish have families. Love your site and what you have to say. Appreciate the recommendation to drop punishments and rewards. Cannot have one without the other, so it is time to drop them both. I shall tell my kids we were doing what we thought was right. Guess it was not right. Once you point it out, actually the picture is great, cigarette and beer both rewards and both detrimental to our health. I will look at my habits and remove all the negative ones. Thanks.

      Appreciate the comment and follow thru. Remove is positive try to remove is a negative, doomed to failure. I look forward to our success. Love, Oracle Jai 

    16. Skocz says:

      It is really a cool and helpful piece of information. I am satisfied that you shared this helpful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing. Skocz

      Thank you for the comment. We have a place where you can register on the left side bar. Love, Oracle Jai.

    17. Maxwell says:

      I wrote a lengthy comment a few days ago nevertheless it never appeared here. I wouldn't want to write all that again. Anyways, I have genuinely loved reading your web site posts. Maxwell

      Sorry about that. I get a lot of emails and some are repeats, some in a foreign language and some ask for technical details all of which I delete. Others seem to be commenting on a different post, so I put them on a post more appropriate. If you do not find your comment, it will be on the home page. Scroll down until you spot it. Thanks for genuinely loving my site and keep reading and commenting. If the comment deals with the material in the post you are commenting on, it will be there. This one was on Raising Us. Love the squid family, imagine they have families!! Love, Oracle Jai

    18. Jordan says:

      A terrific way to raise our kids and care for our joy and health is to take hikes. Notice the variety and magic that nature provides, from insects to plants, birds, water, air. It is a great time to educate your children to the way nature provides everything for all living critters. Going up and down hills and valleys is great exercise and natural for our bodies. We all cooperate and help each other to live fully in abundance.

      Thanks for that addition to Raising us an alternative to the detrimental way we raise them now in cities with asphalt and cement to walk on, cars and malicious people to be aware of. Much better to live in nature and explore it often and safely. Love, Oracle Jai

    19. Thorsten says:

      This blog so excellent, have never read anything like it. We are the products of our parents to give them what they expect. Well I do not want that. I thought I was my own person. Now I find out I am on automatic pilot. Well I will become who I want to be. I will read the rest of your blogs to find out how. Bless you for opening my eyes. It explains a lot.

      Thank you for reading, commenting and deciding to make a change in your life. Love, Oracle Jai

    20. Whitey says:

      Great information about how we were raised. Puts a whole new light on why we have societies that suck. Well, I can change! Lucky me I discovered your website quite by accident and now I am hooked.

      Great, I need to hook at least 10% of the world's population, about  700 million, if my math is correct, roughly the population of the USA, United Kingdom and some Caribbean Islands. 10% is the magic, catalytic number for critical mass, when the totality changes. Paint Your Wagon, we're on our way! Love, Oracle Jai

    21. Nicola Rebillard says:

      This post on raising babies is really interesting. So our personality, what we think and do is determined by how we were raised and we are responsible for our behavior. Hardly seems fair. Still how can we change, naturally without all this trouble of redesigning our selves, listening to a CD, etc.? 

      See in all animals their automatic instinctual pattern does very well and they still develop a personality. They stay basically in one place for more than a million years, until now that is. We seem bent on obliterating all life and it fails to matter what remote place on the earth these animals live. They also learn from their mom how to function safely in society and the world at large without wiping out other species as well as their own. We are unnatural and refuse to be guided by natural laws. We think we are so much better; we are the image of our imaginary gods and you know how fearful, spiteful, and cruel they are. Our end will not be pretty.

      Human babies still have that natural, happy, inquisitive way about them. We would grow up naturally in harmony instead of competition and disharmony, if our parents believed that peace and goodwill was human. I advocate that all adults get fixed and when their children have achieved peace and goodwill within themselves, they can start to breed again. This time keep the families and communities small so they all help one another. I would love to see this, Love, Oracle Jai  

    22. Arnold says:

      I'm really enjoying the design and layout of your site. It's a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. the sound really sets the stage. The pictures are all symbolic of what you are writing about. A jellyfish family!? How did you ever find that one? It is a fascinating read. I can redesign me and I do not intend on having kids. Outstanding work!

      I really enjoyed reading your comment. Thanks for the compliments. Most of my pictures come from Webshots and so did the jellyfish. If we would stop having children that will consume what is left of the available oxygen, water and nutritious food, we will all thank me and all those who encourage us to get fixed. Love, Oracle Jai

    23. Nannette says:

      I am thankful to the owner of this site who has shared this fantastic post at at this place.  It all starts with our parents, even if they give us away. We are stuck with this rejection all our lives. We can never get rid of it and we were just newborns. How can people be so bad as to have a child they do not want and them condemn them by giving them away.  There should be a law against it and the death penalty for those who do it.  We have too many people in the world. Get rid of the one who make this a terrible place to live.

      Right on sister. I am all for eliminating seven billion people and certainly those who create a child they do not want or love it are at the top of the list. Thanks for being bold, Love Oracle Jai

    24. Chauncey Crisson says:

      I drop a comment each time I like a article on a web page or if I have something to valuable to contribute towards the conversation. It's a result of the fire communicated in the put up I browsed. And after reading this report I am, in fact, moved enough to drop a comment here. We never seem to think about how we were raised and what that did to make us who we are today. Oh we might say mother wanted me to be this and dad wanted me to be that but we never get down and dirty. Thanks.

      Great. Only thru awareness can we change. Thanks for getting excited enough to comment. We love comments, especially complimentary ones. Love, Oracle Jai

    25. maillot says:

      Amazing! You know I love your blog!!! Raising us to fit in society is important. What happens if we are raised to be free, love and respect everything, believe we are are all good? Can we get a job when we are free? Will we even want one? Will we be safe when people are trained to harm each other? I guess we would have to make our own way and use society to pay for it. Hahahahaha maillot 

      Being free means just that. You get to be safe, happy, healthy, have wealth flow to you like a river, have fun in whatever you do. Of course those around you will just go on with their miserable lives as before. You will know the rats and avoid them. Living free means you are in tune with your subconscious and it guides you to explore your talents, have adventures continuously, be the person you most admire unless, that person is a power crazed owner of slaves, big palaces, big cars, big dicks and big chicks. Then by all means avoid change for that is what society wants you to go for and has set up hurdles you will be unable to jump. I suggest a life without hurdles, sorrow, pain, misery, power, failure, wrong, bad, ugly or indifference. Are you game? Thanks for commenting and opening a conversation. Love, Oracle Jai

    26. Walter says:

      I am thankful to Oracle Jai for writing this excellent short article about how we are raised to be the desperate and unhappy people we are and there are way too many of us. Wrong idea that more is better. I agree; we should refrain from having children until we know how to make them happy, loving, healthy and prosperous along with all life on the planet. More people is detrimental to everyone's health.

      I agree, get fixed so there are no "accidents" as they definitely will end up in the horrific world we are making, as we come to the end. Make it a pleasant one, change your perspective so we live in paradise. Love, Oracle Jai

    27. Earl says:

      I’m not sure where you are getting your information, but good topic and perfect logic. I have read psychology and you are way beyond that. They need to study these simple but profound posts. I need to spend more time learning the rest of your material about why we are the way we are. Raising us, Punishments and Rewards and Raising Us has helped a lot. I also read the Key. Thanks for this excellent information. I keep looking for the answers. My mission to teach correct training for young children. I have found what I needed and will pass it on.

      Thanks for taking the time to comment. You are right I have studied the so called masters, including educators, philosophers, medicine research, religious leaders in most religions, myths, psychology, scientific studies. Check out the video on the left of Bruce Lipton and Dr. Emotto. I have read the best sellers in the field of humans and found all of them, but the two I mentioned, missed the most important ingredient.

      Even the movie The Secret missed the most profound piece of the puzzle. Life became my greatest teacher, once the veil of illusion had been removed from our childhood automatic training. Add Discover Nature's Way to your list of what to read on this blog. In fact they are all valuable pieces of the puzzle. Love, Oracle Jai


    28. Nat says:

      Thank you for sharing superb information. Your web site is very cool. I'm impressed by the details that you have on this site. It reveals how nicely you understand how we got to be crazy and do insane things, like war, care only for money, make ugly cities, even having to see everything. I bookmarked this web page and will come back for all your articles. You, my friend, ROCK! All your articles are profound. I have searched all over the internet and never found so much valuable information. What an ideal web site, so beautiful, different, interesting and love the sounds of nature.

      Thank you for sharing your superb comments. We need to know that people are getting the message and doing something about becoming sane, real and in love. Love, Oracle Jai

    29. Tyson says:

      I adore this blog Raising Us, what you say and the picture of jelly fish family, looking at us as if, What did you think you were the only ones?!!!. I love the layout of the whole blog site! How do you make it? Its sweet.

      We need to understand what I have to say and my whole outlook is happily ever after. It starts in the home and we need to retrain ourselves for what happened in the home when we were tiny is what we caused in the world. Thunderthrasher.com makes my design, colors and layout happen and I use Webshots.com for the pictures. Thanks for asking, Love, Oracle Jai

    30. TubsUnini says:

      You need to take part in a contest for among the ideal blogs on the internet. I will suggest this website! I discovered your blog web page on Google and check a couple of of your early posts. Continue to keep up the really superior writing. I just put up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Looking forward to reading far more from you!

      That was a very encouraging comment and I really appreciate it. I am new to this, so I really fail to understand RSS however the more the merrier. Love, Oracle Jai.

    31. Vore says:

      Hey There. This is an unusually really, neatly written article. I will come back running, to understand more about learn a lot more about how we got to be the way we are. I am particularly interested in being safe. I’ve been exploring any high-quality articles or perhaps weblog posts but all they talk about is locks and alarms. I am reading all your posts for I’m so satisfied with what I have read so far. I discovered exactly what I needed and did not know I needed it. People need to find you, especially parents and teachers, because attending college is too late.  I suppose if we fail to learn how to be a good parent when we are very young, learning in college will not change us. Is there no hope? Are only the grown ups privy to this knowledge when their children are grown?

      You are right. It is late but we must keep on trying to get the mothers and teachers to pay attention to what they are causing. We have nations of terrorists and sheep otherwise called bullies and victims. Sex took the place of love hundreds of thousands of years ago and we just will not let it go. Thanks for you comment, Love, Oracle Jai

    32. Cristo says:

      I really like the way you write, so entertaining, urgent with great analysis of the truth vs. fantasy. I also love the pictures and sounds.  "In the university they don't tell you that the greater part of the law is learning to tolerate fools." by Doris Lessing.

      "In the university they avoid telling you what is happening now and how to avoid or stop the really dangerous trends" or "In the university they do not tell you that the greater part of the law is on the side of the corporations and against the individuals." I could invent more and better ones but I will hold off for now. Have fun and stay away from the officials. Love, Oracle Jai

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